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Dear pizza boys and slutty librarians. As much as I like to strut my stuff, I prefer not to exposure to my manhood. Why? Because I believe in the power of suggestion. Also, I think pixelated bits are kind funny. Anyway, go and make some porn, don’t go R-rated, go XXX!
1. Start working in the service industry
2. For instance, be a pool-boy or an encyclopaedia salesman
3. Be inventive, use interesting chat-up lines: e.g. Would you like a pearl necklace?
4. Work on your charming smile
5. Practise stripping, best have your clothes come off under 5 seconds
6. Research on your interest groups, like MILFs may not like Milkmen
7. Work on your image, e.g.: Do not give deer in headlight look the Bear/Wolf/Otter community
8. Always be conscious with the angles of views
9. Earn money with your money shots
10. Always refuse scat, if you think jazz music a bit shit
Remember your penis is like your religion, only shove it down the throats of like-minded people.
Hello Libertines. The day of Independence of United States of America brought us one of the world’s super power, it also brought the world Linus, i.e. me. Many years ago, in the oriental dawn, my mama gave birth to me. Ever since then, I have been taking the liberty to be a libertine. Yup. I am born on the forth of July, and I am sexier (and probably taller) than Tom Cruise.
How to take liberties
1. Be independent. You will need to be born, and be independent from your mother
2. Be free to choose your lifestyle, no matter how alternative it may be
3. Enjoy your liberty of not being imprisoned or enslaved
4. Remember it’s a privilege to be alive
5. When someone tries to oppress you with their own values, be more laissez-faire
6. Let them eat space cake
7. Be free from moral constrains; enjoy libertinage. Woohoo! Orgies!
8. Enjoy some liberty caps
9. Of course, you are at your liberty to say NO
10. Take no prisoner
11. Since we are all free, we ought to take the liberty to do things we will enjoy
12. What a fucking liberty!
This liberating tutorial is brought to you by Linus & The Feel Good Factory.
Hey hotties. Apparently, we are still living in the ice age, and global warming might skid us back into another mini-ice age. I am no meteorologist, but I do have a fashion tip for the cold days.
How to look good in the ice age
1. Eat more, since it’s gonna be cold, it’s only sensible to store some blabber
2. Grow more hair for insulation
3. Steal other animals’ skin and hair
4. UGG boots may finally be fashionably acceptable
5. Too bad that the mammoths are extinct, or else we could wear them like a down jacket
6. Alternatively, we can just find an excuse to make a mammoth costume
This tutorial is brought to you by Linus & The Feel Good Factory.